Our Military Divisions
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(Should you wish to apply, please request an infomation pack using the link on the bottom of
the page)
Medic Field Ops
Medics are trained to provide medical cover during operations, and unexpected emergencies in
times of war. Charged with the responsibility of helping the injured and saving lives, Medics perform a crucial role and are
an important part of TMA ™ battalions.
Generally a more female filled position by both Colubus and Macaque Monkeys alike, who are both known for
their sympathetic natures and manual dexterity. However, we have recently seen more males filling this position who often
go on to become General Surgeons and Anesthetists.
Requirements
This role requires two years of medical training to a degree level or over.
Those with PhD qualification will automatically be selected for non-combatative field tuition and given
permanent residence in medical facilities.
Incentives
5 weeks annual leave incentive and generous life and health cover come fully provided, as are moving
costs, family allowance, and child tuition which is fully arranged in advance
These positions are worldwide
Training
Training takes place in Burma over a five week period, with accommodation provided, based in groups
of one hundred to three hundred applicants per year, you will be fully trained by leading and respected Field Medics,
after five weeks of training it is expected that 80% of individuals will be accepted. Those who do not succeed in the first
year will be pre selected to return and sit the Medic exam the following year.
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Sea Monkeys
Consisting of scuba diving, map, compass and land navigation, the Sea Monkey “Hell Week” runs
on physical training evolutions. Lessons and certification in parachuting and scuba diving are included in the package,
including one week on SAS excersies including 14,000-foot sky dives, as well as pool, bay and open ocean scuba dives.
Other activities include pool drills, soft-sand runs, Physical Readiness Tests (PRT), ropes course, boat exercises and other
elements of S.M training. Mission classes include training in strategy, stealth and field communications with Linguistics
and Code Breakers.
This event is a customized program for groups of 120 or less. Your corporate, military, school or athletic
group of 120 will designate when your S.M Training Academy will be scheduled.
Generally a more male filled position by many Monkeys and Apes.
Requirements
This role requires one year of training.
Those with military schooling will be contacted through your current tutor.
All non military personel must be over 4
Incentives
4 weeks annual leave incentive, moving costs, and accommodation provided. These
positions are situated in the US and Southern Europe
Training
Training takes place in either Virginia US, or Valletta Malta, over a five week period, with accommodation
provided, based in groups of one hundred and twenty, you will be fully trained by Sea Monkey Generals, after five
weeks of training it is expected that 90% of individuals will be accepted. Those who do not succeed in the first year will
be sent to Infantry Training facilities in Borneo.
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Linguistics and Code Breakers
We've come a long way since our first Code 'Chumbawumba' now we have advanced technology and think tanks
full of qualified mathematicians and experts. Working under the Official Secrets Act, many of our Linguistic experts
have played key roles in deciphering secret transmissions and bringing about conclusions to tactical war.
Requirements
We look for analytical and lateral minded Monkeys with first or second class honours degrees from university
in mathematics, statistics or computer science. A masters or PhD will give you additional credit. A good university background in pure mathematics is a must, along with a talent with algebra.
Incentives
5 weeks annual leave incentive, moving costs, family expenses, tuition and accommodation provided.
These positions are situated in the UK and US
Training
Training takes place in either Washington US, or London UK, over a five week period, with accommodation
provided, based in groups of FIFTY, you will be fully trained by Linguistic experts and Code Breakers, after five
weeks of training it is expected that 100% of individuals will be accepted.
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Special Air Services
This is the most highly decorated battalion within The Monkey Army™ .
Our troops have been commended for their bravery, stamina and endurance,
and like their human counterparts have become the elite of their kind. The SAS is looking for Monkeys with initiative,
stamina, intelligence, patience and a sense of humour.
Not specific team players but an individual who can survive on
his own and has the self-discipline to work as part of a team.
The whole process of selection is basically divided in three parts:
1
Fitness and Navigation
2 Urban Training
3 Combat Survival
Requirements
You need
at least three years training in a regular unit before you can apply for selection.
So you have to be already in the
Forces be it Sea Monkeys, Infantry or Monkey Police.
As you eventually pass selection, a further minimum of three years
left to serve is required
Incentive
4 weeks
annual leave, medical and healthcare package, moving allowance, family expenses, tuition and accommodation are provided in
full if selection is completed
Training
This is
probably the most intensive, rigorous excercise and military facility in the world. the training is punishing and many do
not complete selection. In order to apply you also need to be of optimum health and be under 4. Training will take place over
a five-six week period in Borneo- with a further three weeks on military excercises thoughout the UK and US.
About 60%
of applicants do not complete selection. Those who are pre-selected to return will have to sit a military examination and
serve three months on training in Infantry. N.B * Those who do not complete their examination and do not make it to Infantry
will be killed.*
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Monkey Police
The Monkey Police is a hard line, law enforcement agency run through The Monkey Army Government Body founded
by D. M Cain-Colubus in 2001.
After his Space exploration division aboard 'Oddessy' The Monkey Police was founded for protection
of its citizens and the underlying laws which govern it's society.
Click here for the three laws
Requirements
We look for lateral minded Monkeys with negotiation skills and the ability to remain calm under pressure.
As the job is very hands on, we will expect you to be in good health and require medical and pychological references from
your doctor of physician.
No formal qualifications are needed, although a sense of fair play and compassion combined with brutality
are essential.
Incentives
The Monkey Police ™ benefits
from 5 weeks annual leave incentive, moving costs, family expenses, tuition and accommodation provided, plus governmental
protection. These positions are situated worldwide.
Training
Training takes place worldwide thoughout all major capital cities, over a five week period, with accommodation
provided, based in groups of five hundred, you will be fully trained by former Police Chiefs and Army trained experts.
You also have the benefit of some Medical training or can choose to take part in selection after one year in the force.
Females are encouraged to enlist and become hostage negotiators, Internal Affairs experts and Assistants
to the president for National Security like the human counterpart (thought this is questionable) Condoleeza Rice.
All applicants once picked for training will eventually qualify to enlist in The Monkey Police
™ if examination results score under 20% you may still be eligible to become president of one of the lesser known countries.
The Humanoid (questionable) George Bush did so, and he seems considerably less intelligent than many of our unfortunate caged
cousins.
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