Introduction and Recruitment

The Sound of approaching carnage fills the jungle with screams carried into the distance.
It's The Monkey Army.
They're coming.
They're coming, for you.

Welcome to

The Monkey Army ™

Our Motto

"Revolution Not Evolution" ©

This is where you can find all the latest information relating to Simian Army Activity ™

Including Current Operations
Military Divisions
Ranking and Protocol
Troops and Arms Laws
And Current Monkey Army Legislation

The Monkey Army ™ includes all types of Simian. Both Apes and Monkeys are enlisted. Contrary to popular belief Monkeys out-rank (and out-number) Apes. This means that Monkeys are quite simply, the apes nuts.

However one of our highest ranking Squadrons was founded by the well-repected General C.H.M.Panzy who gave us our famous Spirit De Corps in 1972, to this day, he remains the figure-head for The Monkey Army ™ with his beliefs and methods still held in high regard.

For Centuries the prospect of The Monkey Army ™ taking over the world has been less than plausible, but with the latest and current technology, it has been proved to be a 100% effective means of combat.

With our new breed of military personel we have become a superior think tank and an unstoppable force.

Our motivation is a simple one and is laid out below

We have no need for material possesions and abandon the ideals of Westernisation
We want our freedom, and do not want to be experimented on
We believe that (you) humans are decimating our natural habitat
We want it back.

Recruitment

We are currently recruiting in the following fields:

Medical Field Ops (Md)

Sea Monkeys (S.M)

Linguistics and Code Breaking (LCB)

Special Air Services (SAS)

Monkey Police (M.P)

See 'Divisions' page for full Specification

Selection Process

The selection process takes place over a five week period, once a year, where primates will be based in a high ranking military enclosure and facility located in Borneo.

Selection is a gruelling process and literally seperates the Monkeys from the Marmosets. About 60% of the entrants who apply, either do not complete the course or are rejected. We have closely monitored entrants from the Human equivalents of our divisions, and we belive that our training rivals that of Man.

If applicants do pass selection they will be required to serve a term of no less than three years in The M.A ™

The Three Laws

There are three laws of The Monkey Army ™ which are followed within strict guidelines laid down in the Monkey Book of The Lore ©

All Monkeys are free and shall retain the right to freedom
All monkeys are equal and fight together for the benefit of the species
No Monkey shall kill a human being without just cause unless that human intends to harm itself, the Monkey in question or another of its species for undue reason

Recruitment & Contacts

(We regret that at present we are not accepting entrants in The Reserves as our Camps are fully operational)

Information and recruitment packs can be requested by contacting the following:

(*N.B Please state in the subject title to which division you would like to apply)

Entrance Forms Available- click here

Thoughts on Selection

What a job!

" The Selection Process required my full attention, stamina and endurance, it was hard work but ultimately rewarding- I almost wish I had my time over again!"

General.C.H.M Panzy

Special Ops. 1972 Freedom Rally

Please be aware that some of the more innapropriate adverts at the top of the page in no way express the beliefs or views of The Monkey Army. Please direct any complaints directly towards Tripod. We have, you can too!